Homestay (Guide)

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Host Family Guide 日本語
Table of contents
Introduction | Preparation | Homestay | About Ikata | Conversational Japanese


Contents

First encounter

It's the first day of the homestay. You'll probably be meeting your visitor for the first time, but hopefully you've been in touch by letter or email, so you won't be greeting a total stranger. Relax and welcome him or her with a smile. Be aware that some visitors may be uncomfortable with being hugged.

There is no need for your entire family to go out of its way to take off of work or school just to greet your visitor.

The first car ride to your home can be nerve-wracking, so try your best to help your visitor relax. Try welcoming your visitor in his or her native tongue. In case of trouble communicating, be sure to speak in easy English, or use gestures and drawings. But keep in mind that your visitor has probably traveled a long way and may be tired, so don't put too much pressure on him or her all at once.

Introducing the family

Be sure to introduce everyone in the family (their names, jobs, ages, etc.).

If you or your family members have any nicknames, be sure to tell your visitor. Calling each other by nicknames can help make your visitor feel like part of the family.

While introducing yourselves, confirm what you've heard about your visitor by asking him or her directly. Keep in mind that your idea of privacy or what constitutes a personal question may be different from your visitor's.

Especially with regards to religious and other beliefs (vegetarianism, etc.), be sure to discuss things ahead of time and be respectful of your visitor's wishes.

Your family need not all be together for the initial introductions, but to avoid any awkward situations, be sure to introduce everyone as soon as they return home from work or school.

Touring the house

After your family members introduce themselves, show your visitor around the house.

Show your visitor all the rooms he or she might have occasion to use, like the kitchen, dining room, bathroom, etc. Explain how to work appliances, hot water, and anything else that might not be obvious.

Your visitor might not be familiar or comfortable with American customs relating to bathing and hygiene. Try to be accepting of cultural differences.

When you show your visitor to his or her room, try to keep in mind that he or she may never have stayed in an American home before. You may be asked unexpected, obvious-seeming questions; do your best to explain things simply and thoroughly.

Be sure to talk with your visitor right away about any household rules you might have, such as curfew, bedtimes, bathroom usage, TV or game times, etc.

Typical household rules

Sometimes showing how to do something is the best way to teach.

It's very important to provide your visitor with
  • your home phone number,
  • an emergency contact such as a work number, and
  • instructions on how to use public transportation to and from your house.
It's fairly common for visitors to get lost the first time they go out alone. Also, be sure to talk to your visitor about your family's daily schedule during the homestay. If your visitor has any special requests or activities, try to facilitate them.

Be sure to discuss anything of importance early and thoroughly.

Getting along with the family

Eating together

One of the most enjoyable times when hosting a visitor is after dinner. If your guest has enough English skills you can learn about his or her country by asking directly, and you can use photo albums and videos to teach about your own family and environment. However, be careful not to stay up too late!

If verbal communication proves difficult, there are plenty of things to do that don't require language skills: Play card games, sing songs, play catch or other sports, etc. Explain things by gestures and acting.

Out and about

You needn't go on a road trip to show your visitor something interesting. The local supermarket or department store, park, playground, etc. could be plenty new and fascinating.

If your visitor enjoys the outdoors, you might try hiking, swimming, fishing, or other outdoor sports. Be careful not to tire him or her out with too many activities though.

Money matters

If your guest requests to go on an outing to a place that involves per-person costs, such as entrance fees, tickets, etc., be sure to discuss ahead of time who will pay for the guest. Feel free to treat your visitor within your comfort zone. But make sure it is clear ahead of time when he or she is expected to pay his or her own way.

When you, the host family, invite the visitor on an outing, the assumption is generally that you will pay for all reasonable costs. If this is not the case, again, be sure to discuss the issue with your guest ahead of time.

Also be sure to talk with your visitor about telephone usage: How much is reasonable, and who will foot the bill.

Miscellaneous

Bathing

Customs relating to bathing may be quite different in your visitors country. In the case of Japan in particular, most Japanese people prefer baths to showers, and prefer to bathe in the evening rather than the morning.

Talk with your visitor to figure out a system that works for both of you.

Things to explain
  • Where to change clothes
  • Where laundry goes (who will do laundry)
  • How to use the bath and shower
  • Where to get towels, what to do after using them
  • Reasonable bath times (time of day, duration)

Food

For specific recommendations on what to serve your visitor, see Food ideas

You needn't prepare special meals just for your guest. What you eat normally is just fine. However, be sensitive to allergies and food intolerances, as well as other preferences (like vegetarianism).

Some may feel obliged to throw big feasts or make fancy food, but that can actually make your visitor uncomfortable. Normal, everyday, authentic American food is probably new and interesting enough to your visitor. In fact, fancy, exotic meals may turn out to be less appetizing than a simple homemade dish.

If you normally eat with the TV on, try turning it off. Mealtime is a great opportunity to chat and learn from one another.

  • Treat your visitor like a member of the family.
  • Ask about likes and dislikes ahead of time.
  • Don't pressure your visitor to eat anything he or she isn't comfortable with
  • Try to eat with everyone together as a family.
  • Be sure to explain each dish and how to eat it.
  • Teach about American table manners.
  • Try helping your visitor make food from his or her country.

Choosing a menu

  • Don't worry about serving only "authentic" American food. America is a melting pot, and your choices should reflect the diversity of your usual diet.
  • Don't serve too much. Americans are known for their hearty appetites. Your visitor may not be used to American-sized portions, and may feel pressure to always finish everything on their plate. Don't assume that your visitor didn't like the food just because he or she didn't finish all of it. If possible, serve in a style that lets your visitor decide how much food to take.
  • Be aware of food restrictions. Some visitors may have dietary restrictions based on religious, cultural, or other beliefs. Be sure to ask about these ahead of time.
    • Is there anything your guest can't eat for religious reasons?
    • Does your guest have food allergies or intolerances?
    • Is your guest of legal drinking age?

Don't put your visitor on the spot by offering foods he or she can't eat.

The most important part of the meal is that everyone is together enjoying each other's company.

If one or more family members can't make it to dinner because of school or work, let your visitor know ahead of time.

If your visitor wants to help prepare or clean up, let them. There is no need to treat him or her like a guest.

In case of injury or sickness

Look up appropriate hospitals or health care facilities beforehand, in case your visitor becomes sick or injured. Be sure to note which locations are open on Sundays and holidays.

  • If your visitor becomes injured or sick, make sure to contact the RWSCC.

*Keep tabs on your visitor's physical and mental health, including homesickness and culture shock.

Sightseeing and shopping

For specific recommendations on where to take your visitor, see Travel ideas
  • Plan a relaxed schedule. Don't try to go everywhere and see everything.
  • Ask your visitor what he or she would like to do.
  • Decide on money matters right away. Who will pay for what, within what limits?
    • A visitor's personal shopping should be paid for by the visitor
    • Leaving these decisions to the last minute can result in very awkward situations!
  • If money is involved, tell your visitor approximately how much beforehand.
  • Find or draw a map of your destination and explain how you'll get there.
  • Explain about where to ride the train or bus, as well as times and fares.
  • Talk about what to do in case your visitor gets lost.
    • Make sure he or she has your address and phone numbers (home and cellular).
  • If your visitor buys souvenirs, make sure they can be taken home (to your house and to the visitor's home country) easily.
    • Consider the weight and size of the item, as well as airport regulations on prohibited materials.

Gifts and souvenirs

You may want to give your visitor parting gifts or souvenirs from your time together. Don't go overboard, though.

  • Ideally gifts should be light, easy to carry, and not take up much space.
  • Local specialties or, failing that, general Americana make good gifts.
  • Other suggestions:
    • An album of pictures taken during the homestay
    • Further gift ideas

After the homestay

Your newfound friendship need not end when your visitor returns to his or her home country. Keep in touch by writing letters, sending email, and exchanging seasonal greetings like Christmas or birthday cards.

The bonds made through a homestay can last a lifetime, but they don't stay strong on their own.

The most wonderful "souvenir" you can get from a homestay is a friendship that crosses borders.


Host Family Guide 日本語
Table of contents
Introduction | Preparation | Homestay | About Ikata | Conversational Japanese